i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
