I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
