i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
