We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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