8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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