And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
