Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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