My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
