Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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