She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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