I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
