Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
