Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
