how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
