You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
