When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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