My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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