I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
