i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
