1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
