I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
