I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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