I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
