oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
