You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
