I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
