i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
