I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
