can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
