It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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