I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
