Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Every concussion has its silver lining
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
