I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
