What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
