What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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