do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
