So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Alive.
So much puke
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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