Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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