we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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