i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
