my vag is so smooth its legendary
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
