I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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