Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
