Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
