you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
