some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
