So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
