I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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