Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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