I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
